The Girl In The Green Scarf

hey i am sorry i have been gone so long i miss you all I am thinking about moving i am not sure were once i get every thing taken care of

mmmariaaa:

There are these times when nothing seems to make me settle. I feel out of place. Out of mind. Like no one really understands and no one really cares, except for of course, Nick Tate and Marina Killinger and Alex Larsen and my parents. I long for the past but dwell in the future and yet I’m living in today, the present. I want so badly to be marride, but of course, I’m too young. Maybe in a couple years ; ) I want to be happy, there is nothing to stop be from getting there. My loving boyfriend just started taking RCIA classes, to become Catholic, thats been bringing me so much joy. That I influenced someone to such an extent that they are making a big life choice and they know it’s what they want. Just to think that God made this happen, throught me, makes me the happinest girl in the world. Just to know, that He loves me enough to have all these people in my life, amazes me. I should be proud, I am. I would be happy, I am. I try. I want to move forward. Get good grades, you know it isn’t as simple as just wanting it. You have to work for it, good thing I have a strong work ethic. I feel like things are moving too fast for me and I can’t catch up. Junior at AHS, and we are already one third of the trimester done. Thats insane. 8 months, and we’re already talking about marriage, thats insane. I wish time would slow a couple seconds, just to let me catch up. To let me enjoy, wish, want. I need an easy way out, but I don’t want to go. I need a new way of thinking, but I like my way, His way. I need to be patient. He has my life in his hands.

Dear God, I am devoted to you and your eternal love. I want you, Lord. Please give me guidence so I can deal with my stuggles with ease. Make them seem like a grain of salt rather then a mountain to climb. Thank you God for putting Nick in my life, thank you for filling him with the Holy Spirit and giving him strengh so that he can see your power and your light. I need to be more communicated with you God. I need to talk to you more. Maybe you will show me where to go, what to do. Thank you for helping me in math, for having Nick show me how to take ‘math’ notes and showing me how to take them that way I learn more, and talk less. Thank you for pushing me all the time. You are my everything, Lord. Thank you for an amazing family, who works hard for you and for me. Thank you for Marina and Alex, because when no one else is there, they support me and give me girl advice, like Momma Mary would. Help me show people who you are and what you stand for. I realize that the blog above was a little too much, but I feel lightheaded right now. I am truly happy, but I am stressed, I am kjhggdsfkhgjfd. I don’t know how to word it God, but you know. You know what I say before I say it, before I think about it. Please give me and Nick a happy life together, if that is what YOU want. I want to be with him forever God. He is truly a great pastor, protector and provider and I love him so much. But not nearly as much as I love you. I am sorry for all the wrong I’ve done and will do. Please understand that Nick, is the best thing that has ever happned to me and I know you put him in my life for a reason. We belong together. Please never take him away, but if you do, let us be friends, always. Because I couldn’t imagine life without him. And as I’m tearing up. I ask you for protect the people in the war, and the animals in the world. My family, and all the other families out there. Protect friends and boyfriends/girlfriends, that they may learn to be together for YOUR reasons, and the right reasons, not only for physical attraction. I ask you Lord, bless me in my school work and guied me to do your work. Love, Maria. “For you are the power and the glory forever and ever, Amen”.

Thank you, God almighty : )

hey going to a church picnic today with the fam